The age old question: what should I bring to Basel gets new light shined upon it.
After the island, Darling, I learned not to miss.
Dear friends – loved ones – who knew not your Auntie’s past often decried the barbarians who left farm equipment under water to wreck innocent beer boats on the 4th of July.
„What sort of monster would do that ?!?!! “ they’d declaim & hand teenaged me another beer.
„I would.“
& then we’d laugh at the very idea that nine year old me would have helped push a tractor into the Maumee as we fled from the Feds.
Leaving, Dear Precious Heart, is never so much about what’s left behind as it is about what your Tender Soul must greet.
Perhaps it’s just the dismal scientist in your Auntie … or the drunken Emo chick, but:
No one ever really knows you.
Not even you.
„How do I find XYZ ? How do I buy the staples my family wants & needs to thrive here ?“
The Expat Expo … various forums … online sites, etc … promise smooth transitions from one seemingly purchasable world into another.
As if the only difference was a bar code.
Choosing to live in Basel, I thought, was a safe & sane choice. A choice that would lead to adventure, but also, lots of fun.
I was really only right about the adventure part 😉
Afraid – feeling vulnerable, powerless, & stupid – your Auntie was clearly dancing with devils she did not know. Devils with several faces. Some familiar; yet all new.
Devils who nearly drowned her in pools of sorrow & rage. Back then. When the world was their advantage.
Back then when the Devil slit my wrist & watched with glee as I tried to flee. Back then when three demons kissed my neck & pled, „Stay with me … stay, please …“ Back then, before loved ones I did not know were watching sprinkled dew drops mixed with candy coated diamonds & the unrequited love of a virgin in a three-way affair (as if they had been paying attention the entire time) which appeared like stardust to show your Auntie the way ….
Today: darkness & light are at their most perfect balance. Tomorrow, light accepts her advantage. She plays white.
Knowing: now is not the time for Big Moves. Now is the time to start small. A slight hip shake. A lovely grin. A butterfly kiss on the horizon that will seal fate in your corner forever.
You never know what tomorrow will bring.
But, if you haven’t started already, today is the day to start cultivating the relationships that will see you through. Forget replicating your past. Today is all there is. Welcome it. Bathe in it. YUM.
XO
AS
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