On … For Nora

How do you live – how do you love – when you don’t know where you can live tomorrow ? Dear Auntie SAM: What will you do if your reunification visa is denied ?  I have the first love note I ever received. It was folded into an American football & probably passed to me […]

«Whomever wants to understand much must play much.» – Gottfried Benn

How do you live – how do you love – when you don’t know where you can live tomorrow ?

Dear Auntie SAM: What will you do if your reunification visa is denied ? 

I have the first love note I ever received. It was folded into an American football & probably passed to me through friends between classes. I’m Facebook friends with the boy who wrote it. Now a man. Still lovely.

My Mother’s house caught fire one mysterious eve. She & my youngest sister were almost killed by the smoke; potentially the flames. But a blaze arose from a million memories burning, & Fortuna – perhaps drunkenly generous that night – let one tired Chief of Firemen drive past & save them. I crossed the river Styx to help them rebuild & clean. Memories are not as beautiful once drowned & licked by Satan. My husband & I are not enemies. In fact, several indications exist to remind us (reassure us?) we still care. And we still like each other. Yet. There came a dawn when we just could not be together any longer. And, for him, life continued as normal … better than normal. He became happier; healthier; stronger. I collapsed. Every thread on a spider’s web is tied to the one before it. The length is accidental to its offshoots. But expand: it will. Offshoot: at will. Return to or repell from home: yes.

Friends from & new to Basel reached out to me in my darkest hours, but I couldn’t respond. I withdrew from connecting to them & to coworkers. I hid in a halfway house – The School for Wayward Men – & built barriers between myself & the 6 year old girl I teach English. She withdrew from me, too. But what else could I do ? You can’t let children fall in love with you if you don’t know that you’ll stay. Last week, she & I went to Herbstmesse. We gambled like Mafia Dons & took all the best prizes. Silly on our winnings, our minds & hearts connected because she finally knew: I got my C-permit last month. I moved into my apartment November 2nd. She can trust me; I’m here to stay. XO AS

Remember your FIRST LOVE at SUPERBRAVODANCECLASH: Friday the 13TH Edition. All your most LOVED & HATED tunes of the 90’s under ONE SORDID ROOF. „There’s a party, don’t you know today there is a party ? Open up your heart; we’re gonna start it.“ SUD. FRIDAY 10PM

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