… & other things washed ashore.
Dear Auntie SAM: I’m very sorry [your friend died (See On … For Carmen)]; being an expat is not all wine and roses. As for the help you require – I think you need to be more specific about what you are looking for. We’re Swiss, be blunt.
Everyone has a dream …
Aside from when I was very young & declared „When I grow up, I want to be a Princess-Ballerina-Firefighter“, my first dream about my future was that I wanted to live in Europe.
As silly as this sounds, around the end of middle school, I had what we’ll goofily call my first midlife crisis. I was tired, anxious, annoyed or bored of everything, & I felt as if the end was drawing near without any chance of me reaching my goals.
My father sat with me on weekends & started picking me up on Wednesday nights to help me through.
And, although he didn’t understand why I felt I belonged abroad, he promised he’d take me after I graduated high school.
I believed him back then.
But, as we aged, I came to understand how his intentions often fell very short of reality, which crushed his visions of the future like a ship wrecked at sea.
The day I graduated high school was the last day I saw him standing. He died little more than a month later; six days before my 18th birthday.
I set out on my own. Working. Saving. Studying. Planning. Then, through a series of magical events, I ended up happily married in Seattle.
But my husband, never a traveller, knew I still wanted to live in Europe. So, when his former colleague asked him to accept work in Basel, despite not even owning a passport then, he said „yes“.
In large part, for me.
We had no idea living here would tear us apart.
A mere four years after arriving, our nearly 19 year marriage has sunk – like my father’s future – Aegean ships lost to the sea.
Still on a B, less than one year before his C-permit could be granted, he’s looking for work elsewhere. And my visa, attached to him, will soon have no him.
What happens to me? I have no idea.
When you come abroad as a Tag-along, you don’t expect it will be all wine & roses.
You are married, darling. You know darn well roses arrive with thorns. And that wine? Oh, you’ll drink plenty. But you’re a big girl or boy & you do so accepting the consequences.
These things are predictable.
But a storm at sea? In a landlocked country?
Wonderland.
And when that storm arrives, not only will you not recognize it at first – how could you? You’re where everything looks the same, but isn’t – but you’ll be bailing water & trying to repair things in a language & culture you don’t understand.
And where no one understands you.
Because no one here knows who you still think you are. How things used to be. What you’re used to believing, used to feeling, used to knowing as true for you.
The people in your life abroad will see who you are today.
Whoooo arrreee yooou????
You don’t know yet.
So, you’ll feel alone – lost, even … potentially with kids.
And when you go to the bureau that issued your visa, despite your varied approaches, they will only say: every visa is different.
No one wants to be wrong; but no Swiss bureaucrat will be.
Besides, details are always someone else’s domain here.
So you curtsey, & thank them politely for their time & accuracy. Then leave, uninformed.
Once again, you attended the party but never got tea.
Ah, Wonderland … at least you’re pretty.
And still my dream.
As an American, mine is the language of diplomacy. And, me: I’ve been trained in legalese & the arts.
I haven’t the Swiss tounge. Not even an engineer’s nor a scientist’s.
And, yet, I feel, as I tread water, heavily beaten by the gales of a cold & deadly storm, that I haven’t much more time breathing air.
So, yes, I’ll speak my language your way & pray for a speedy response:
I want to talk with someone who will inform me about visas. Mine & other types. ASAP. Bitte. Merci.
Please write: auntiesampresents@gmail.com
XO
AS
__
This MOTHER’S DAY, honor the woman who put up with your TEENAGED MELODRAMA with a RICH BUFFET of HOT & COLD BRUNCH DISHES at VOLKSHAUS. 11AM to 3PM (hot buffet from 2PM). 65 SFr ADULTS. 30 SFr kids. Under 6 yrs old FREE. RESERVATIONS: 061 690 93 10 or brasserie@volkshaus-basel.ch
Then shimmy over to SUD for UNPLUGGED: This month’s ACOUSTIC artists are ALGERIAN/ITALIAN/BRAZILIAN JAZZ SINGER ANISSA DAMALI & a SWINGING JAZZ TRIO from BASEL: RICCI SCHUERMANN DUEHSLER. Plus ETHNO ELECTRO DJs DOMINIK DAKS & ANISSA DAMALI. Beautiful moments in candlelight: GUARANTEED. 8PM. FREE.