Five years ago, I never would have imagined that what I was actually nervously awaiting was so … dirty.
Dear Auntie SAM: Why do you live at the School for Wayward Men ? Why not just rent an apartment or have your husband pay; he brought you ?
My husband & I moved into together only two months after we met. He first got on one knee & asked me to marry him, in front of a crowded bar, a few months later. I said „no“. But he persisted until I was finally won over by something he understood would be dear to me & that we’ll keep as ours.
The only things I insisted upon were that he give me a present from Tiffany’s & that our pre-nup would be the They Might Be Giants song „Narrow Your Eyes“.
Just because our marriage fell apart in a country that would grant me the power to bleed him dry doesn’t mean I would. Or that anyone should.
The fact is: when love’s gone, it’s gone. Like the last breath when you die. Like that last bittersweet piece of pie.
Nothing’s ever fair in Love or War.
I’ve been living – paying rent – at the School for Wayward Men for seven months now. Waiting, before signing a lease, to know if I can stay or must go. Seven months unlocking seven doors to reach my room … without seven dwarfs to comfort me.
Also, without one single fridge. One fridge from which, after a long day of work, I could delight in a cold glass of milk & a handful of ripe, delicious chilled grapes. One fridge in which I would have placed water in the mornings, so that upon my arrival home, during our past summer when the heat felt as if it could boil us internally, I could have had a moment’s respite. One fridge in which I would have stored meat and, my favorite: fish. One fridge that would have let me believe in more than one day.
Regardless of my feelings about it, not having a fridge does seem appropriate. The punishment fits the crime.
Because, as a Tag-Along. Darling, you relinquish all rights to having a future. Your rights exist only through someone else for today – for someone else’s pleasure – potentially discarded tomorrow.
And then, you have no „reunification“ to reunify. No reason to exist in Switzerland. Call it what you like. But at the end of the day, „reunification visa“ is a Bünzli term for a concubine visa. I wish I had known.
I once created a costume spun of absence.
From a fully covering leotard, I snipped, twisted, sewed, & coiled until it appeared as if the woman had been draped only in the petals & stems of sinewy red carnations.
When the actress entered my studio, she appeared meek. When I showed her the costume, she recoiled. Terrified, she begged not to try it on. Defeatedly, she acquiesced. And then re-emerged a Goddess.
Beautiful & strong. Within her self. All selves.
That is which most horrifying is the very thing that creates us anew.
Everyone has their way of coping with the unknown. Some ignore. Some fear. And, some deny anything negative is conjured when our tomorrows are questioned.
They must be very lucky, those people.
I wouldn’t know.
I’m a jump into the fire kinda girl. And when I find myself in the pits of the underworld, just trying to get a grasp on how to live life as a discarded concubine (as one does), your dear Auntie, of course, danced with delicious demons. Tasted forbidden fruits. Nearly stayed.
But. I honestly love life too much for that. So I called upon friends from wicked, wondrous worlds past.
To guide me through. To remind me who I am. To throw a party.
No foolin‘
Because I meant what I wrote earlier: you don’t always get to choose where you live … or when whatever part of you & your cherished, madcap life tumbles off a cliff & dies.
But always, Darling. Always: you get to choose how you live.
And, in Wonderland – with me, you should choose magnificently.
XO
AS
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Saturday: Your Auntie’s FRIENDS FROM AROUND THE WORLD converge at the GRAND CASINO BASEL for one MADCAP DELICIOUS CELEBRATION OF LIFE. Many fan favorites: emcee ARMITAGE SHANKS (USA), performers EROCHICA BAMBOO (JPN), LOU ON THE ROCKS (CH/DE), KOKO LA DOUCE (CH/DE), COCO DAS VEGAS (FR) & everybody’s favorite Uncle Bunz: SCOTTY THE BLUE BUNNY (USA). With pianist ERIC GILSON & DJ REN LE FOX. Fancy Dress (costumes, evening wear, & retro ENCOURAGED). Doors 8PM. Show at 9.