Gerhard Gaudard, an IT project manager, was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome two years ago. He tells swissinfo.ch about his job, the everyday challenges facing people like him – and the secret of a happy marriage.
Gaudard, 38, trained as an IT engineer and now works in Bern for Danish-based company Specialisterne, where the majority of employees have an autism disorder. Staff work on data entry, software programming and project testing.
He works eight hours a day and commutes from Aarau, 40 minutes by train northeast of the Swiss capital, four days a week.
He is chatty (in good English), friendly, funny and keen to share his experiences – hence his decision to keep a blog which focuses on life with Asperger’s (see box). The only noticeable expression of his disorder is an absolute lack of eye contact.
swissinfo.ch: What is your job?
Gerhard Gaudard: My main task is making sure that all of our clients have work, projects, something to do. I’m also tech support here – I fix everything. Then I have to write down concepts and ideas for new projects and negotiate with customers. Eight hours a day is normally not enough!
swissinfo.ch: Do you enjoy what you do?
G.G.: Yes, very much. For me, it’s like hitting the jackpot. Working, as someone with Asperger’s, with people with Asperger’s for people with Asperger’s – you find this kind of job once in a lifetime.
swissinfo.ch: You spent nearly 20 years working in ‘normal’ companies. What was your experience there?
G.G.: Two years ago they told me I had Asperger’s. Previously, I didn’t know what it was, so almost my entire working life was a mess. Now I know why: because I didn’t understand other people and what they wanted. So sometimes it was a bit hire and fire!
swissinfo.ch: The diagnosis must have changed your life.
G.G.: It changed my life completely. I had to start a completely new life. I had to think about what kind of job I could do, where I could work, how to organise my private life, my partnership – everything. It was a lot of work.
swissinfo.ch: What are the biggest everyday challenges for someone with Asperger’s?
G.G.: We need routine: each day must be the same. If something changes, it’s horrible. For example yesterday I had to go to Zurich to see a customer. They told me last week, so I spent four days thinking about how I should get to Zurich, when I should get there and what we should discuss. I thought about that for four days, because it was a change.
swissinfo.ch: It sounds as though the atmosphere in the office is good. Do you agree?
G.G.: If Thomas [van der Stad, CEO of Specialisterne, see related story] says it’s OK, it’s OK. For me, atmosphere doesn’t exist. I don’t know what it is. I can’t feel it or see it. I have something like a filter which is so strong I can’t see emotions. I see nothing. I also do not see faces. It’s almost like being blind. That’s why I can’t answer this question.
swissinfo.ch: Why did you start writing your blog?
G.G.: The reason why is simple: I got my Asperger’s diagnosis and then checked the internet for forums and websites and information because I had to know what Asperger’s was. Then I found a forum, so I logged in, read what was being written and began communicating with people.
One of them then wrote to me, saying I was an idiot and completely wrong and so on. This was a neurotypical [a term used by many autistic people to refer to those not on the autistic spectrum] mother. I thought ‘bloody hell, this forum’s for people with Asperger’s and not for mothers without it’ – I was really pissed off.
So I thought about what I could do – and I got the idea of writing a blog. But how? Google makes it possible – it was very easy to start – and without having any concept, I just began writing. It’s a small success story. I get up to 3,500 clicks a month from around the whole world.
swissinfo.ch: Do most readers have Asperger’s?
G.G.: I’d say half-half. Some people write and say ‘my partner’s got Asperger’s, thanks for writing this article’. Others write ‘I’m Asperger’s too, someone understands me, I thought I was the only one on the planet’.
swissinfo.ch: Do you have many hobbies? I imagine that going to the cinema, for example, might be difficult if you can’t read emotions…
G.G.: Cinema’s one of my biggest hobbies! Action movies are perfect for me. I also like science fiction. But comedies, dramas, love stories – all that neurotypical stuff – I don’t understand it! It’s a foreign language which I don’t speak.
I also love reading books for facts and watching documentaries. And making music – I’ve played the electric guitar for about ten years. I play metal. Iron Maiden are the best band in the world! Up the Irons!
swissinfo.ch: You like reading books, can you imagine writing one?
G.G.: Definitely. A project I have in mind is turning my blog into a book.
swissinfo.ch: Do you meet up and socialise with other people with Asperger’s?
G.G.: No. I have enough of Asperger’s during the day. On my floor there are only people with Asperger’s. In my private life I have no contact with Asperger’s. I have almost no contact with other people in general, except my wife.
swissinfo.ch: Is she autistic too?
G.G.: No. She had to learn a lot. But once she had read up about Asperger’s, she said ‘OK, that’s what you have, I don’t care, I love you as you are and if there’s something strange, I’ll ask you’.
We’ve been together nearly a year. One of the secrets is that we don’t live together: she lives here, near Bern, and I live near Aarau. I’d previously gone out with someone for 11 years, living together for nearly ten. Then I was diagnosed and she moved out, saying she couldn’t live with me knowing that I couldn’t learn things that were important to her. I had to accept that, and that’s why I told my wife right at the start that I had Asperger’s.
Now I have a jackpot job and a jackpot wife! For me it’s the perfect mixture of a work-life balance.